Thoughts

On being southern in the snow.

January 15, 2022
Southern Snowman

(Originally written and shared in 2014)

It’s been written about, and I was going to skip it, but I can’t. “The north” mocks “the south” every time we freak out in the snow.  But there is a major point the news misses: we’re awesome in the snow.

I have to break this down.  Sure, we are a metropolitan area of 5 million people and we seem to own like 3 salt trucks and 2 snow plows.  Yep. On all but 3 days out of 1000, this is known as a good financial decision and a sound use of tax payer money.  We have other issues affecting us all 1,000 of those days, and that’s where the lion’s share of money and effort goes, and where it should continue to go.

And that’s where us being awesome in the snow gets extra important.  We run to the stores to buy up all the bread, milk and eggs (and maybe wine) at the hint of snow because we know if snow flies we’ll be home until the ice melts.  News crews just love to broadcast next to empty bread shelves.  Hello world – this is called preparation.  I’ve lived in Atlanta for 20 years now, and been snowed into my house bunches of times. Why does being prepared with enough food to make this time pleasant make people laugh?  Being prepared is awesome!

Oh and notice how up there I said “snow flies” then we have to wait until the “ice melts”.  Yes – snow here isn’t like snow “there”.  It falls as pretty fluffy flakes, hits our warmish roads, melts, the freezes over it in amazing thick, smooth ice skating rink like sheets.  Every single time.  Oh and then the snow starts to settle over the ice, which makes it look like just an inch of snow.  So then the news crews come out to our hilly areas to show cars skittering around like salmon who just can’t make it upstream. We look to all the world like idiots who can’t drive in an inch of snow.

Then it gets more fun – if during the day the snow and ice melt a tiny bit in the southern sun, it promptly refreezes when the sun dips below the horizon.  Sure, there are people who just can’t drive in it (news crews love to show them) but – we mostly aren’t actually dumb about snow.  We are trying desperately to get home, where we intend to stay.  But, our fair city has limited public transport (and limited interest in using it anyway) and the longest by mile average commutes in the country.  So when snow flies quickly in the middle of the day, 5 million people have a long way to go.

And so when Mother nature decides not to bless us with overnight snow that leaves most of us snug in our beds and instead a 6 hour steady snow fall when everyone was at school and work we have to really be awesome.  And we are.  We go home (or try) right away because we know this is going to be bad. And then we figure out not IF we can help, but how we can help.  We check in on friends, pick up extra kids from school, walk the neighbors dogs, put on our hiking boots and push cars up hills (and school buses), let new friends spend the night in our houses instead of their cars, you get the idea.

And then we stay home until it melts.  Because hot diggity dog people, it’s snow! In the south! And that means once we know everyone is home safely it’s time for sledding (on make shift sleds of course), snowmen, and snuggling up by the fire because no one expects us to be anywhere until it melts.  And that is awesome!