There are a million studies, articles, and people shouting from the rooftops that the collective we need more sleep, more quality rest. I know this. And yet.
As I was reading Soulful Simplicity it became clear (again) that this was a space I was slipping on. Hand on my heart (a practice from the book) I checked in and I was tired and it was hard to skip past Courtney Carver’s reminder “Don’t wait until your body forces you to rest by getting sick.” Moving into the four weeks I led this book in the Yoga of Connection group, I decided my “one thing” was going to be regulating my sleep schedule – to go to bed and get up at the same time everyday to even out my morning routine and ensure I got to move my body everyday BEFORE I do all the other things.
It seemed simple. I was going to be in bed by 10pm every night, lights out by 10:30, rise and shine at 6:45am (hello 8 hours of sleep every night!) Alas, simple is not a synonym for easy. And shifting to an earlier sleep cycle left me feeling like everything was a literal mess. I wasn’t getting to things that I would usually wrap up before bed. Like what happens at 9:59 when I walk in the kitchen and the dishwasher needs to be loaded? This is an actual question…and my answer is basically always to do “one more thing.”
I did manage to get up and move everyday, and I thought that if I just kept getting up on the schedule I would get my day in order so that 10pm didn’t feel so early compared with my endless evening to-do’s.
A few weeks in I realized that getting into bed at 10 really meant I had to start winding down my day around 8pm. Often I’m not even home from teaching by then. Too often I haven’t had dinner. It’s a work in progress. Like right now it’s 9:48pm – do I finish this, or go to bed? It’s a different kind of challenge for me to get time in the quiet zone to write, AND if I say my priority is rest I need to shut it down.
For giggles I documented how just one night went awry. I find it humorous in part because I think I could write a list like this for at least 25 of the 28 nights. I’m sharing it because I’m assuming we are all this way about SOMETHING in our life. That there is something we aren’t quite getting to happen the way we say we want it to happen. And shifting is hard. So give yourself grace and space. In Soulful Simplicity, Courtney carver repeatedly reminds us that the changes she’s talking about took 10 years. I’m four weeks in. And it’s past my bedtime.
The hard thing in me sees and honors the hard thing in you.
8pm a play we’ve gone to see ends, we’re about 30 minutes from home.
8:20 we decide on Taco Bell for a quick dinner because Hello Mexican Pizza is back!
8:30 arrive at Taco Bell to a long line that refuses to move.
8:45 leave to go to another Taco Bell.
9pm Leave the second Taco Bell with dinner, but they were out of Mexican Pizza. Boo. Eat in the car.
9:15pm arrive home and feed and walk the dog and also clean up cat barf.
9:17 contemplate if my favorite shoes can be fixed. The answer is no.
9:45 help daughter remove her eye makeup because I don’t want her to sleep in it.
9:56 say good night (there is hope…4 minutes… I just need to…)
9:58 feed cats
10pm load dishwasher
10:10 realize the cat litter needs to be cleaned and also they barfed on that other rug.
10:15pm completely empty the litter box, take it outside and clean it with the hose.
10:25 start laundry with the (thankfully washable) barked on rug
10:27 take out the trash that has all the litter in it
10:29 clean stove because clearly whatever splattered cannot be left overnight
10:32 realize I never finished uploading the yoga class I edited earlier, so set that to upload.
10:37 finally pajama time.
10:38 make this list so I can figure out why? why? why?
10:43 brush and floss my teeth
10:45 finally post the yoga class.
10:48 lotion and face stuff, like you know – washing it.
10:51 in bed – write gratitude (51 minutes late)
11:13 decide to read a bit
11:40 lights out (70 minutes late)