I went to a virtual new moon circle tonight. There was nothing really wrong with it, and there was equally nothing really extraordinary about it. The internet was splotchy, it wasn’t really interactive, I didn’t feel like I had everything I needed, and I spilled my tea right as it started. Twice.
I quickly decided the blame game would be good – the problem was obviously that I should have gone to the in person one I had the opportunity to attend. Labeling was next – perhaps the problem was lazyness and “at home” sounded easier. I was so irritated and in my head that I almost dropped out of the zoom call, but I didn’t. Thankfully.
Look, I’m not going to pretend it got magically better. The host had to turn off her video for large chunks of it, and it turns out tea doesn’t bounce back into the cup. However, I made the decision to be present – as I was, with what I had, where I was. And that was enough that I stepped out of my head (and my fomo), and into being open and receptive to what was being offered.
That’s all it took (simple but not easy). One step away from self judgement to be fully in the moment I had already decided was the one I wanted to be in, not frantically racing in the world (or in my own brain) towards some possibly “better” option.
And in those moments of full presence, I heard what I needed to hear: this next 28 days are mine to embrace and learn from. Like spring cleaning, new years resolutions, or giving up something for lent, the cycle of the moon from dark to light and back can be a simple visual reminder to check in every four weeks with the darker corners and see where I might want to shine a light and make some changes.
May you find your own moments in the next four weeks to shine, and take the moments you don’t have to be the light to explore what you need.